Faroz Id ∙ 12 Jan, 11
You have great blog
vote and follow you
Pls take moment to visit my blog post
I am still on that path.
I'm also back in the dating world and thought I'd try online dating. With advice from several friends, I decided to get on Match.com.
I found though, that their static profile format is not enough to provide a complete picture of me.
Having a flash of creative insight, I decided to expand upon my regular Match profile by including in it a daily mini-blog. Due to space limitations, there is only so much I can write, plus there is no way anyone can comment.
Here, I will mirror those posts and provide a forum for those who wish to make comments or provide feedback.
I will bring up what comes up for me... my thoughts, experiences, questions, opinions and maybe a rant ot two.
I hope you enjoy reading and learning a bit more about me.
You have great blog
vote and follow you
Pls take moment to visit my blog post
How Much Do You Want It? A Relationship, That Is.
(my continuing saga on Match. com)
Ok, I get a Wink or a message. I click on the profile. The first thing I'm looking at is her city! PLEASE...don't be 85 miles away from me, especially in South Florida traffic!
She is local. Horray! The second thing I now look at are all of her pictures. (Hello! I am a man!) Hmmm. Cute. And all of the pictures are of her, not of her dog or sunsets.
A carefull read of her profile includes the fact that she is looking for a serious, long term relationship. The rest of her profile is peppered with words like "couple", "companion" and "partner". She writes in a sincere manner that speaks of a woman who is ready to at least explore the possibilities of a relationship. Yay!
(There are so many game players on Match. It takes careful discernment to weed out the players)
After a few exchanges of messages, I give her my number, and she calls. We have a great 3 1/2 conversation! Ok, now it's time to make a date to meet. Monday seems to work for us. We'll meet at a book store. She will call and let me know for sure during the day on Monday.
During our long phone call, it came out that her last man was jealous of her relationship with her son. She said he did not understand how close she and her son were. They do everything together. Shopping, eating out and going to the gym. He is a 17yo senior in high school. She said any man coming into her life would need to accept her son. Fair enough.
Monday afternoon I text: "Are we still on for tonight?" No reply.
Around 5:30pm, I call and leave a short message. "Hi! I'm looking forward to meeting you tonight!"
At 9:30pm, I get a call. It is her. No acknowledgement whatsoever about her promise to call earlier and let me know about tonight, my texts or my call.
She instead asks "how late can you see me?"
"Now? The bookstore is closed."
"No" she says, "I mean for this weekend. How late can you see me?"
I ask her how late does she have in mind. 9:30-10:00pm, she says.
Why so late on the weekend, I ask.
She replys that she and her son always goes to the gym and then they go home and she makes him dinner. So she's thinking 9:30-10:00p for us to meet.
My first thought is maybe this guy, the one who was put off by her close relationship with her son, was not that far off-base.
I told her I though that was late for us just to be meeting each other. (she said she doesn't like the first meeting-dates going too long)
It hit me that if her life had all of these prior obligations with her 17yo son, what kind of room was she creating for a relationship in her life? Even on the weekend? Not much, as far as I could see.
I simply told her that I wasn't willing to tie up an entire Friday or Saturday night waiting for a short meeting at that late hour. She started to get argumentative, saying it was clear we would never be compatible. Ya think?
I told her she was right, and said goodbye.
Can there be some vetting process over at Match? Lord, this gets tiring!
But ever the optimist.....NEXT!
I stopped in to say hello and wish you a wonderful day.
Thanks for stopping by! Where is the balance for you, between the desire for solitude, and having a companion?
This was a Match weekend.
No, I didn't go out on any dates. I had my kids this weekend.
Since coming back to Match after a three-month hiatus, this was more of a search and email weekend.
I saw a lot of promising profiles, sent out several messages and answered my messages and winks.
I realized that some of the things I'm looking for this time are a bit different than last.
I'll give 'ya a for instance.
Distance. This time, I'm making sure that someone actually lives within 30 minutes or less from me!
Sorry, but driving over an hour each way just to get together for dinner or drinks on a weekday is tough!
(Ideally, one of my neighbors will post a profile on Match, then I can WALK over to her place!)
That, and finding someone accepting of my kids and my fifty-fifty schedule would be great.
What surprises me is the number of women in my zip code! I don't remember seeing that many local profiles the last time on.
I made a page on a real blog site. I'll be copying these mini blogs and posting them over ontovthat blog site too. If you feel like posting a comment, drop me a message and I'll send you the link to my blog.
Thanks, and here's a goodnight kiss for you!
I have a question .....from reviewing the profiles on match.com I see a term I am not familiar with. Excuse my ignorance, what are "serial daters"? I would not want to offend someone if I fall into this category?
Good Question. I'm on Match, and when I find someone that I am interested in, I like to do a coffee or drink meeting to see if there is mutual interest. If there is, I start going out with them. It is a learning process. By the second or third date, I know if I want to seriously explore this. During this time, I am not seeing anyone else. This scenaio has happened twice so far, and both times, the women have simply stopped seeing me. One just up and disappeared, and the other said she found someone she was interested in. (she had not stopped "parallel" dating, obviously) I resume my searches and start over with the process. So, am I a "serial" dater, with one following the next? I would think the negative term you are refering to should properly be called "parallel dating"; someone dating more than one person at a time.
I cannot put my focus into more than one woman at a time, and if I did, how serious would I really be in discovering if she was the one?
So tell me, what is your dating pattern as I've described it? Let me know!
Fear vs Faith.
Facing challenges and certain situations can bring forth feelings of fear. For me, having an immediate awareness of the fear is key. It is in that moment of awareness where I get to choose to continue operating in fear, or in faith.
A recent example: My son is in wrestling for the first time this school year. We've both been enjoying some good dad/son moments, with me as his personal trainer! Barking out "give me another 3!" while he does his push-ups, etc.
I attended his team’s first competition and was a bit shocked. The boys really get thrown around! On the way home, I expressed my concern for possible injuries that might be incurred. My son rolled his eyes and said both his mom and sister were giving him the same spiel. At that moment, I realized that although I was expressing a legitimate concern, it was fear based.
I owned-up to him what was going on with me, and then told him that I do trust him to make the right decisions.
His whole mood shifted. He started talking and admitted his own safety concerns. He did say that the coach does focus on preventing injuries every day with the team.
I doubt we would have had such a conversation if I had held on to a fear.
Shifting from Fear to Faith…Any thoughts?