(1) When I’m not trying to take over the world, I’m acting as David Hasselhoff’s full-time burger handler.
(2) When I’m dancing I think I look like a pro hip-hop dancer….then I look in the mirror and realize it actually looks like I’m a short-circuiting robot.
(3) I’d rather run a cheese grater against my ear drum than hear a small dog barking.
(4) I can’t look at people’s toes without gagging.
(5) Any type of breaded meat freaks me out.
(6) I’m convinced Katy Perry looks just like Heidi Fleiss once she takes all of that makeup off.
(7) I used to want a job on “Saturday Night Live” but then I realized I’m actually funny.
(8) I believe poodles are proof the devil is among us.
(9) I worship at the altar of Stevie Nicks.
(10) I believe in gay marriage. Gay people should have the same opportunity to be in a sexless relationship just like straight people.