Blackstar
olden days were letters and diaries........now in fast moving life computers do....starting for fun and to write mann ki bhadaas!!!
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Blackstar ∙ 2 weeks ago
i told you that i have some kind of change within me & that feeling was good for me that was nothing but love..love for free life love for someone to be of mine...but now i want to sign it off, before it gets on to the nerve..becoz the true love never ends in a marriage...before my bachelor life i want to roam around without any responsibility... now these days i feel like to run somewhere where nobody can catch me even my parents coz my mother feels that if i'm married away her duty will be over which make me a feel of a luggage to them..my death year is nearby b4 that if i could....
Blackstar ∙ 2 weeks 1 day ago
Gloomy day! whenever there is atmosphere about to rain my eye drops are also ready for the fall...lil bit ambiguous, for me marriage is end and before that end i want to live my dream...will it be true...now i have felt like a feeling of love but i want to pluck it before it gets on to my nerve...may be this an attraction/infatuation, i don't know to name it.i have no time to love or waste in any way cozz my life end is about to..may be for this year..hoping worst & working with ease...see u
Blackstar ∙ 2 weeks 5 days ago
so sad to hear that this program is going to shut soon on june 25th!...but it was something that was like my dairy can write anything without disclosing my identity...i would always miss, though it didn't gave any kind of solution but it gave me a soothing effect on revealing my feelings in words like telling to a person who would not object but listen..today going home..know what i like the journey to home not the time when i reach home coz when i reach home it makes me remember that how careless & lazy am i? see you back on monday till then babye....!!!
Blackstar ∙ 2 weeks 5 days ago
nothing much 2mrrow going to home, june 2nd friends marriage & come back on 3rd, july 10th is nearing..feels so lazy my junior colleagues say to study & to get pg but my mind is somewhere i'm not seeing my aim at all..if you ask what's the future the answer is i don't know..i'm so irresponsible..lazy...aimless brat! always think why did my parent got a punishment like me..i'm worst/useless daughter..friend..teacher..or whatever role in present...i'm so selfish..i only live for my happiness
Blackstar ∙ 3 weeks ago
hey lot to say my pop gave me permission to go delhi alone, but because i have less score i dropped the plan & authorizing one of my junior & high ranker..day before yesterday i had a bike ride again & went to visit my aunt in b'lore..in between so many things happened can't tell you coz words are limited & going to write another local exam not decided yet what is future planning..i think something going fuzzy in my heart can't name it? what kind of feel? but its energetic..see l8r..bye
Blackstar ∙ 4 weeks 1 day ago
now my juniors are going to apply for the pg & i'm least interested...now i have found my fault that is only laziness to go forward & lack of any aim... i think i had never lived for me i had my degree for my father & if i'm doing pg that is also for my parents...when i'm going to live for me or do something for me that is why i'm not interested in anything & also 1 thing i don't know where to start & had some shy that if people come to know that i'm going to write a particular exam sure they will ask for its result..all these only bahana..god i don't know when i'll become a good girl for me?
Blackstar ∙ 4 weeks 4 days ago
fed up daily routines..want to go somewhere and be a cocoon...want to hide somewhere..want to travel...another exams & approaching results....want to go kashmir..no no switz na america london....somewhere where nobody knows me & i'll be complete stranger...know something our new head is coming, 2morrow going for a movie...may be ther i'll get some calmness..well now my heart is jumping like monkey..see u later me going for wishing not that intimate friend..bye
Blackstar ∙ 5 weeks 1 day ago
i'm in bit confusion...no solid plan for future...bit ambiguous..hey one of my friend become acvm & i'm proud of that but have lil remorse that i am not trying for anything...feared about end of my free life now i have only..may be 1 1/2 more..still i have so many dreams to be done coz for me life is dead after marriage..i will not be myself aftermath! that's one..another thing is for me something is disturbing so much can't say to anybody...i just want an escapism.. i am not a great warrior or something like that..hoping god will give the best...bye
Blackstar ∙ 5 weeks 6 days ago
long to talk with u...so many things happened in life...in short alumni on 11th may...one of our pookodian got IRS..and hoping for 2 of my friends will try for that.. inspired by the above & i would be very proud that my close friends are at higher level...psc exam is over...still future is ambiguous not yet decided how to move forward..sometime think that let it move as it is...i enjoyed my friends engagement
Blackstar ∙ 5 weeks 6 days ago
long to talk with u...so many things happened in life...in short alumni on 11th may...one of our pookodian got IRS..and hoping for 2 of my friends will try for that.. inspired by the above & i would be very proud that my close friends are at higher level...psc exam is over...still future is ambiguous not yet decided how to move forward..sometime think that let it move as it is...
Blackstar ∙ 10 weeks 3 days ago
preparations for the exam is almost nothing, bothered about the something else... don't know whats next...very difficult to rise in morning and run & complete the daily duty and when i get the bed to sleep the next day starts..feel like completely congested .. and also got cold feel like just shut my eyes and sleep...my friends engagement on 28th..one of exam on 21st ...may 4th detrimental day...almost pissed off...i'm leaving all this to god...see u later
Blackstar ∙ 10 weeks 6 days ago
& wat! our psc has been declared on 4th may...i pray for everyone because i know i wont but in personally i don't like that job... i like something else, thing other than studying...hey on 21 st pg entrance is their i should get any one at least other wise my parents are going to slaughter me for some 'Owl son' ,my future targets are either to get good score in GRE & run off from here or get a pg outside of my native or do some job in zoo, of all the above i had a dream of getting into national or discovery channel, dont know god have kept something special for me,life is becoming mysterious but i like it, the suspense and thrilling,from god i need only one thing that i must enjoy every moment of my life, bye guys see you later busy with class preparation,bit tough portions handling now
Blackstar ∙ 10 weeks 6 days ago
lot of things happened in my life, frm where i should start well my 1 of comfort friend has landed to my place to get an experience of a teacher & to relax before entering to army,let me talk about dis friend when he comes or calls me i feel so thrilled & happy, of course i feel so happy with other friends also, but for him i don't know who am i for him...he is unrevealed..i cant read his mind..but he is most admired person by others...d thing i like in him his patience of listening to me my blah blah..great tolerance..and a ability of becoming one of gp...anyway so much of him....
Blackstar ∙ 13 weeks ago
yesterday was revealing day that my long back friend who was a daily caller later got too busy with his life that he couldn't call me even once...later i got a happy news that he has fallen in some love connections, but he doesn't told me that...and my another friend has got chicken pox...he is bed ridden.....our psc date are out .....its on may 4th but i don't have any hope...deeply i hate psc...but if i say to my parents they will kill me and my mother specially will say that "after all what do you get if you are not planning for this ...if you get this at least then we can think for your marriage" so i hate it completely...plannig for abroad because if i am some far distance my parents won't panic for my marriage, otherwise they will be crack as neigh or society...but still don't know the way out......hoping for worst ...good luck next time...only happiness is that the God has kept something special for me
Blackstar ∙ 14 weeks ago
yesterday i saw my friends but one of them went urgently to his home without seeing me...and what! today my junior has went for learners... day after tomorrow is mine two wheeler test GK what will happen....nothing special more..waiting for the tea time....at 11...exams are nearby...i don't know half mind whether to do pg or go abroad or what...i decided nothing...let it happen...let me see what god has prepared for me ahead....i like adventures..even i have a dream to meet my buddy in a very adventurous way...lemme come down to earth and think like human! juz kidding...hey my twitter friends are increasing...oh i forgot to tell that yesterday i tried the Indian traditional saree my god i came to know that i need a era to wear it properly...it was a big comedy..i am rather comfort in jeans, pants, chudidars....planning to get another one just as a hobby not to wear...this much for today see you later babye!!!!!
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Blackstar ∙ 1 week 1 day ago
day b4 yesterday one of my close friend asked me to give my blog address..i felt so embarrassed..though he is my friend but still...the things are wonderful for me now...yesterday i went to the church with lots of confusion to be solved but i didn't get the answer from him but still a good feeling that everything is being gonna ok...see times upp!