― Dear Dentist, ∙ We do this silly dance every time I visit. Why do you think I never come to see you? Jesus, you're worse than my grandmother (God rest her soul) with the nagging and the questions. Like "How often do you floss?" Are we talking in the weeks immediately leading up to my appointment, or the rest of the time? Because the answer to that question varies depending on the scenario. The former is every day and twice on Sundays, the latter is whenever there's a piece of popcorn [...].