― It's Christmas Eve 2012 and frankly I don't think I can be much sadder than I am right now. I know, not the most uplifting thing to post but it's the reason I haven't written lately because I didn't want to have a sad post. Especially this time of year, I should be happy... I should be filled with joy... I should be excited. I am none of these, I am sad, I am disappointed, I am lost and I am lonely. ∙ I am trying hard to keep it together for my youngest daughter Valentina she deserves [...].