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WHYTE & MACKAY SPECIAL—If you have to pay sin tax, pay it on something cheap
Liquorstore Bear ― My parents are refusing to buy any more booze. It’s too expensive and—if you believe the dire predictions about the upcoming privatization of BC Liquor Stores—it’s going to get more expensive. I don’t know what’s cooking in my parents&... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 21 hours ago
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2
ASTROLIQUOR for May 25-31—What the stars say you should drink!
Liquorstore Bear ― My Fellow Inebriates, Here’s your booze horoscope: You find yourself reminiscing about January/February, Aries, even though you lolloped through them in a Crown Royal haze. But don’t fixate on the past—June promises just as much... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 2 days ago
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2
RIP gummy bears…time for Bacardi shots
Liquorstore Bear ― My gummy bears have turned into unrecognizable sickly yellow slime. As all evidence of their bearishness dissolves, somehow my guilt does too. Now it’s time for…cannibalism. Whatever will those Bacardi shots taste like? I’ll keep... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 2 days ago
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2
The dark side of gummy bear hedonism
Liquorstore Bear ― I got a shock when I looked at my gummy bears this morning. They were supposed to look happy and plumply saturated with rum. But instead, they’d turned into goo. Neither of my two brain cells had remembered my own posts about flavoring vodka with... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 3 days ago
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3
The secret world of hedonistic gummy bears
Liquorstore Bear ― My Fellow Inebriates, One of my Facebook friends posted this on my wall: The Internet is full of good ideas, as anyone who’s ever researched a possible medical condition will attest. There aren’t too many better ideas than this one. As it... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 4 days ago
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3
Can we really trust the sun not to cook us?
Liquorstore Bear ― My Fellow Inebriates, The whole family went out last night. My parents had been in a funk all day; the kids were glued to Netflix and needed to be torn away somehow; and my dad had a restaurant gift card—so off they went without so much as... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 5 days ago
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2
Almost a beer moment
Liquorstore Bear ― My dad said his golf week wasn’t any fun at all. It was all business all the time except for the one day the team golfed with frigid wind whipping around, plus he was pestered constantly by clients on the phone. He didn’t even break into that... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 6 days ago
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3
ENGLISH BAY PALE ALE—Good for frogs, bears, and wildlife in general
Liquorstore Bear ― My Fellow Inebriates, The kids went to Frog Search today, where they scooped tadpoles and salamanders out of a swampy pond, inspected them under microscopes, sorted them into categories, then sang a song to them as they released them back into the... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 7 days ago
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3
ASTROLIQUOR for May 18-24—What the stars say you should drink!
Liquorstore Bear ― My Fellow Inebriates, Here’s your booze horoscope: Your energy soars this week, Aries, making you the envy of colleagues—especially a Gemini. Fortunately you have distractions, such as one nagging little task you’ve always been too... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 8 days ago
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4
ESTRELLA DAMM INEDIT—As perplexing as a lightweight Ben Wa ball
Liquorstore Bear ― Very occasionally my mum and her friends talk about interesting things, which makes me prick up my ears for tidbits that go beyond the ordinary childrearing conversational din. This happened today at the mention of Ben Wa balls, although the context... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 9 days ago
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7
TOMMASI VALPOLICELLA (2010)—Well done, Tom
Liquorstore Bear ― My Fellow Inebriates, Mum and I both feel fully justified having a glass of wine (or two) every single night my dad’s away on his corporate team-building week. After all, he’s getting paid to golf. He’ll come back bronzed and well exercised,... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 10 days ago
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6
GEHRINGER BROTHERS AUXERROIS (2011)—Good grapes, good vino
Liquorstore Bear ― My Fellow Inebriates, The only item you’re less likely to find in our fridge than white wine is Canadian white wine. Regardless of nationality, any white wine wanting entrée into LBHQ has to get past my parents’ childhood-instilled... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 11 days ago
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6
PAUL & PHILIPPE ZINCK PINOT BLANC (2009)—On the agenda, if not P’s Show-and-Tell program
Liquorstore Bear ― My Fellow Inebriates, Even though my dad is too cool to tuck me in at night, I miss him when he goes away. So does my mum, although we both agree it benefits our beer inventory. My dad wasn’t going to share his team-building golf week agenda with... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 12 days ago
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5
Do liquorstore bears have mothers?
Liquorstore Bear ― I don’t have any pre–liquor store memories. Self-awareness came on the liquor store shelf, next to countless bears just like me, all for sale (two for $10, one goes home with you and the other goes to charity). So I don’t remember any mama bear... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 13 days ago
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6
Pursuing the elusive six-pack
Liquorstore Bear ― My Fellow Inebriates, Every so often it dawns on me that my parents really don’t love me. After I tried to recruit four-year-old Miss V to open my mescal bottle on Wednesday, the suspicion grew stronger still. Words like “unwholesome” and ... (more)
Liquorstore Bear ―
Posted 14 days ago
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