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Menopausalmother
This is a humorous blog on the lighter side of menopause sure to bring a smile to those of you going through hot flashes, mood swings, weight gain...
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Menopausal Mean
Menopausalmother ― I'm a pretty likable person. Dependable. Responsible. Compassionate. I'll laugh at your corny jokes just because you think they're funny. I'll let my fettuccine Alfredo... (more)
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Made popular 2 days ago
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"Why I Don't........."
Menopausalmother ― I've noticed a growing trend of people my age frantically scrambling to complete a "Bucket List" of things they hope to accomplish before they die. "I'm going to climb Mount Everest with nothing but a camera and a granola bar in my pocket!... (more)
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Posted 28 days ago
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How To Annoy Your Children
Menopausalmother ― From the moment they are born, our children are a tremendous source of pride---first words, first steps, the gold star on their progress reports, the lead role in a school play...we are always there, cheering them on, sharing their... (more)
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Made popular on Apr 24th, 2012
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Zombie Blogger
Menopausalmother ― I wasn't always this way. Six months ago I didn't have a clue as to how to turn on a computer. Didn't even know what Safari or Internet Explorer was. I'd see my kids feverishly typing replies on Facebook and my husband sharing YouTube videos... (more)
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Made popular on Mar 29th, 2012
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Firebug
Menopausalmother ― What is it about men and fire? Is there an instinctive need for heat rooted deep inside their troglodyte souls? When I was a little girl, I feared that my house would burn down because my brother's favorite hobby at the time was lighting... (more)
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Made popular on Mar 11th, 2012
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58
Facebook Fossil
Menopausalmother ― Okay, I'll admit that I'm tired of being the dinosaur in the family. I was the last to learn how to use a DVD, the last to learn how to use a cell phone, and the last to learn how to use a computer. I finally brushed the cobwebs out of my... (more)
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Made popular on Feb 18th, 2012
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15
One Blemish At A Time
Menopausalmother ― What the heck is up with middle age acne? I don't eat mountains of chocolate or greasy food to stimulate pimple production (even if that is a myth), so why do I get the connect-a-dot cluster of red bumps on my face every couple of months? ... (more)
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Posted on Jan 21st, 2012
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15
Over The Hill And Away We Go
Menopausalmother ― I don't like the mornings I wake up feeling like Rip Van Winkle, a time when the world has passed me by and I've suddenly gone out of style. Thirty years gone by in the blink of an eye! It makes me feel older than dirt. The good news is that I'm... (more)
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Posted on Jan 10th, 2012
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14
The Twelve Days Of Menopausal Christmas
Menopausalmother ― "On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me..." One portable purse-size fan Two deep tissue massage sessions (preferably with Johnny Depp or George Clooney) Three vodka martinis (can I invite Depp and Clooney?) ... (more)
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Posted on Jan 10th, 2012
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17
Tis The Season
Menopausalmother ― "It's the most wonderful time of the year!" Yeah, maybe if I kidnapped the Keebler Elves to do all my shopping, wrapping, baking, decorating and then had them give me a foot massage along with a box of those fudgy cookies they're notorious for.... (more)
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Posted on Jan 10th, 2012
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13
Old Bag
Menopausalmother ― Now that I have finally snapped out of my Thanksgiving turkey-induced coma, it's time to focus on more important things. Like my purse. The other day while I was driving, the purse fell off the passenger seat when I hit the brakes, and it... (more)
Menopausalmother ―
Posted on Jan 10th, 2012
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15
Gobble Gobbler
Menopausalmother ― Thanksgiving is my favorite time of the year. The stress of Christmas shopping hasn't begun yet---no standing in line at 3:00a.m. for dolls that burp, hiccup and pee in their pants. I get enough of that at home . No maxing out credit cards... (more)
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Posted on Jan 10th, 2012
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The Vultures Are Waiting
Menopausalmother ― My daughter convinced me to watch The Rachel Zoe Project on the cable network, and as I'm staring at these twenty-one-year-old, anorexic-looking models, I'm thinking two thoughts: 1)Someone should tie these girls down and force-feed them... (more)
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Posted on Jan 10th, 2012
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12
Devil Juice
Menopausalmother ― Devil juice can be defined as: "Juice made from a winery in hell, designed to create multiple personalities in those who imbibe by introducing their alter egos to the general public." My husband is an avid beer drinker, but once he switches... (more)
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Posted on Jan 10th, 2012
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16
Menopausal Muncher
Menopausalmother ― I started my first diet in middle school after a fellow student accused me of looking pregnant because my blouse was so "puffy" around my stomach. I didn't know how to explain to him that my stomach size was the result of a food baby, not a... (more)
Menopausalmother ―
Posted on Jan 10th, 2012
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