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Paramour In Waiting

 Nisha ― http://paramourinwaiting.wordpress.com

This blog documents a former promiscuous woman trying out celibacy until she meets Mr. Right.

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Listed: Mar 29, 2011

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Well…That Was Awkward!

Paramour In Waiting ― It has been nearly 2 months since The One Who Soothed Me and I have been sexually intimate. We barely see each other but are cordial when we do. As you know, I am going back to college to pursue my master’s degree. Before I can enter the...

Tags: The One Who Soothed Me, Awkward, Casual Relationship, Interracial, Jealousy, Men

Nisha ― 1 week 1 day ago

I’ve Come to a Decision!

Paramour In Waiting ― After all these year riddled with indecision and depression, I have decided to get off my ass and obtain my Masters degree! I have been sitting around looking at these four walls and feeling sorry for myself for too long. I feel it is time to ...

Tags: Life, The One Who Didn't Feel The Same, Bipolar Disorder, Casual Relationship, College, Depression

Nisha ― 1 week 5 days ago

Maniac Mistake

Paramour In Waiting ― Overspending is one of the many symptoms of bipolar disorder. Some people overspend when they are maniac. Some overspend during depressive episodes. Some do both. My overspending occurs more when I am maniac. I want everything in sight and feel...

Tags: Life, Bipolar Disorder, Credit Card, Debt, Mania, Mental Health

Nisha ― 2 weeks 1 day ago

Group Therapy Was…Awkward

Paramour In Waiting ― I finally gathered up enough courage to go to a group therapy session yesterday. It was quite a nerve-racking experience. As I sat waiting for the session to start, a couple of the patients kept trying to have a conversation with me. They were way...

Tags: Life, Anger Management, Awkward, Bipolar Disorder, Group Psychotherapy, Mental Health

Nisha ― 6 weeks 6 days ago

Hypersexuality Dipped in Love Addiction

Paramour In Waiting ― As some of you may know, hypersexuality is a symptom in bipolar disorder. These past several days, my body has been on fire. It’s like I can feel every drop of blood rushing through my veins. My clitoris feels like it’s on tilt and it...

Tags: Life, The One Who Soothed Me, Bipolar Disorder, Booty Call, Casual Sex, Hypersexual

Nisha ― 7 weeks ago

Under His Covers Blues (Part II)

Under His Covers Blues (Part II)

Paramour In Waiting ― I wanted to finish the 2nd part to the Under His Covers Blues post but was too embarrassed to write it. It was also too painful. To make a long story short, Soothed wanted to continue our sexual relationship but did not want to pursue anything...

Tags: The One Who Soothed Me, Booty Call, Casual Relationship, Dating, Hooking Up, Interracial

Nisha ― 12 weeks ago

In The Land of Zombies & Scaredy Cats

Paramour In Waiting ― I went to my doctor’s appointment last week. I noticed that I was the youngest patient in the office. My mind began to wonder about the other patients. Was this my future? Going to psych appointments in my 50s? Living with bipolar disorder as ...

Tags: Life, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fear, Insecurities, Mania

Nisha ― 14 weeks ago

Back to Medicationville?

Paramour In Waiting ― My last official psych appointment was in late 2010—unless one was to count that intervention from my insurance company. My insurance company called and asked about the state of my mental health. They noticed that I haven’t seen a...

Tags: Life, Antipsychotics, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Mania, Mental Health

Nisha ― 17 weeks ago

Missing Piece(s)

Paramour In Waiting ― Something lingers inside me through the day and haunts me at night. I cannot render any explanations of what it could be. It is not a ghost. It is not something that goes bump in the night either. It sure isn’t gas. It is an infinite longing that ...

Tags: Life, Personal, Thoughts, Self-actualization

Nisha ― 20 weeks ago

Under His Covers Blues (Part I)

Paramour In Waiting ― “Why does my body ignore what my mind says? I try to keep it intact, but I’m here in this bed.” -Jill Scott I was doing well at this no sex thing but it was cold and lonely. I missed the contact. I missed being taken to a ...

Tags: Life, The One Who Soothed Me, Bad Habits, Booty Call, Break Up, Casual Relationship

Nisha ― 26 weeks ago

Under Employment Blues? (Update 1 of ?)

Paramour In Waiting ― I have been staring at this computer screen off and on for the past several days. Although I have missed having an outlet to bounce my feelings off of, my updates are quite lackluster and I am a little ashamed. I have been away for a ...

Tags: Life, Background Check, Termination, Under Employment, Unemployment, Update

Nisha ― 26 weeks ago

Signing Off…For Now

Paramour In Waiting ― Well, since everyone does not have the luxury of having Iyanla Vanzant to fix their life, I guess I have to do it the old fashion way—on my own. I need to operate on a higher frequency. I operate out of fear, complacency, guilt, regret and every...

Tags: Life, Advice, Bipolar Disorder, Blog, Depression, Hiatus

Nisha ― 37 weeks ago

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