Sachchidanand

Hi..This is about my life long journey. Failures and successes, my depression and anxiety. How and why I felt terror stricken at times.
I studied medicine and then went on to become an Orthopedic surgeon. Still unable to realize my true potential
I was at loss of words at any public gathering. Shy, unable to make friends. Always short of words unable to speak. I thought I suffer from insufficient knowledge of vocabulary. I studied hundreds of books. Developed good vocabulary but I was still short at words. Stood quietly sipping my drink at the corner of the hall during parties.
I spent about half of my life like this.
One day on a particular occasion when in crowd I felt sudden giddiness. It was very difficult to drive, my hands were shaking and heart beating at full pace. I was sweating profusely. I instantly realized that this is a panic attack. Myself being physician I took a few tablets of anti anxiety medication to calm myself down.
Then I consulted one of my psychiatrist friends. He confirmed that I was suffering from severe social anxiety. He prescribed certain medications. I was improved a bit. But I could not get fully cured.
Started reading self help books about relief from anxiety depression and social phobia. Studied the methods of CBT and ACT methods of psychotherapy.
There I found reference of Mindfulness of breathing and Vipassana meditation.
I studies these techniques and took some online courses on meditation. Now I am a free bird.