Saad lost his job today.Living in Singapore is very expensive, he has applied in other companies, but, the job market is down.I don't know how long we can survive here! Our house rental alone is 5 K! Please pray he finds a decent job- pray for my sake, if not his! Funny- Karma has come full circle! I told him in a vague manner that if he had wronged someone(me),maybe God did not like it, repent your sins, but he does not get it.I am sharing my story when Saad left me in the hospital, alone and went to Islamabad with the kids in 2007-Malaikaah was 2 years old.For two weeks,I cried a lot.One incident happened , we fought! He admitted me ,then took off! Without telling me! When I was discharged, I went home, only to find the house in a messy state, with no one in sight! He even took my passport with him, so I could not follow him.I went to the Immigration office, but they said my new passport can't be made! Numerous phone calls to my in laws place, everybody cut the line, I did not get to speak to my kids.After the passport debacle, I thought my kids had died! No way I knew when he would be back if ever. I used to sleep at night, holding Malaikaah's pillow- the smell of her remained on her pillow.I cried for a week, then accepted whatever fate God had in store for me.I became numb with shock! He came back 2 weeks later, by then I had resigned myself to my fate.The truth is horrible:In my mental state, it was very easy for me to end it all-I didn't.I bore those 2 weeks with patience-The worst time of my entire life! I am scared of God's justice! He is doing it now.I am thinking of my 3 young kids, how to make ends meet!