do you ever feel u miss someone more when they are gone forever??

I feel like dying. Its a hollow, vacant space that cannever be filled. Yeah.

It's human nature to want what we don't have, so I'd say yes I have felt that way after losing something and someone dear to me.

"do you ever feel u miss someone more when they are gone forever??" This is a very peculiar, uncomfortable scenario. When I had the last look at that serene face of a 74 year old, it never ever struck me that this person was due to go. It was instant. 20 days ago was a festive celebration. All enjoyed. Then she goes on holiday. At the0end of the holiday and day before departure for home, she gets a massive heart attack, gets admitted and four days later passed away. The body arrives a week later, and here I am looking at that face and asking WHERE IS THAT LIFE that smiled, greeted and reflected joy.
I feel empty missing that company and the question is THE BODY IS IN FRONT OF ME AND ABOUT TO BE CREMATED. WHERE IS THAT LIFE? Still with us and not visible or has ended. Was body the capsule of life? Has the captain deserted leaving the vessel or has the vessel gone leaving the captain? Life's Mystery.

SOMETHING else that is very ironical is, one sometimes does not even get a flower stalk. Yet when eyes are closed and the nose cannot smell and the body has gone cold and still, look at the amount of flowers, and wreaths that arrive. SO MUCH IN FULL BLOOM and that is actually a show off to the bereaved and those present at the funeral. What did that dead and so dearly loved one get. NOTHING. Life and its idiosyncrasies.