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To Young?

Bailey

2 Nov, 10

So I am new to this whole blogging thing but I need some advice. I am 18 and I would say that I am very much in love with my boyfriends who is 25. I know what your thinking, he's to old for me, but there is an instant connection between us. I am very mature for my age I think that is why I always go for older guys. But my current boyfriend is what I think is the one. This is where I need help. He told me to pick out a ring or to start looking around. Well that was about two months ago, and he told me he got the ring. But he hasnt gave it to me yet.

We talk about marriage a lot. But my family is influencing me to enjoy being young. The way I see it is that I was young and had my fun in high school and know that I'm in college to insure my future, why would it be considered wrong if I am insuring my future with my possible future husband?

12 Replies

Sugarfree ∙ 2 Nov, 10

No one should get married till 30.

Bailey ∙ 3 Nov, 10

Why 30? why would i want to wait so long when i already think it's right in front of me?

Bruno Rodrigues ∙ 3 Nov, 10

He's not too old for you. It's not a huge difference. The problem is that you are young, regardless of what you think your maturity level is. You're family is right. If you don't enjoy your youth, you'll never grow out of it. There's a big difference between being a high schooler/teenage and a young adult in your 20's. Your idea of "fun" will change. If you two are considering getting married, my advice is to stay engaged until college is over and your both more financially secure. This will give you both time to explore the relationship further and focus on your college without worrying about the stresses of marriage. Contrary to what some believe, getting married doesn't relieve the stress of a relationship. Another thing you might catch some flack for is that you are 18. So, if you've been dating for a year or more, he's technically a statutory rapist. Be careful with what you reveal to people.

Bailey ∙ 3 Nov, 10

i went after him the second i turned 18. so no he is not a rapist. but thanks for the concern and advice.

YaGirlNextDoor ∙ 3 Nov, 10

@Bruno it all depends on what state she lives in. Statutory rape is usually below the age of 15/16. The chances of even being brought up is slim to none and that's her business, she is an adult now. If anyone should be concerned about statutory rape it should be her parents so I don't even think that should have been brought up.

Bailey, follow YOUR heart but listen to your mind. You can come here and ask bloggers their opinion, but we all know you are going to do what you want to do anyways. I feel age does and does not matter. You should have more life experience. You should date at least 2 years to even see if you can last that long and how much more feelings will develop in that time. In those 2 years you will see where both of you are heading as far as career goals, finding out if you want children, compatibility, etc. You should make a list of things you want from a husband that are "Deal Breakers" to you, and because that is important. For example how big is faith and religion to you? Will you marry someone who doesn't practice the same religion as you? Do you want to have kids? These are things about him you need to know. Because if he does NOT want kids and you do, DO NOT think to change that. Women think they can change a man of his ways after marriage. NO that is not what marriage is about.

I believe love will stand the test of time. If the two of you TRULY love each other now, then you will love each other in two years once you get to know each others ways, habits, families, dreams, goals, etc.

Bruno Rodrigues ∙ 4 Nov, 10

It's not only her parents that should be concerned. It's the her and her b/f. Regardless of the individual rules of a particular jurisdiction (like age of consent and such), statutory usually doesn't require someone pressing charges. If someone were to find out and tell the wrong people, there could be trouble. So, yes, it's a very real concern. One that she has already specified doesn't apply to her.

YaGirlNextDoor ∙ 4 Nov, 10

Well like she said he is no rapist, unless you are that concerned and want to tell the wrong people. It's sad when people look into the bad side of things and try to make it apply to others when it doesn't.

Bruno Rodrigues ∙ 5 Nov, 10

What's sad is that you're arguing with me about nothing. You didn't think it was a relevant issue. Got it. I don't agree. Did I say I wanted to tell anyone or wanted her to tell anyone? I didn't even ask her to tell me. I just said it was something to consider on her own (in other words, privately), and to be careful if that particular situation did apply to her. As soon as she said that she didn't have underage relations with the gentlemen, it was no longer relevant to her. Look at the negative side? This whole discussion is about the negative side of getting married too early. Even you told her to make a list of "deal breakers." Pot calling the kettle black.

Karen ∙ 6 Nov, 10

Everyone in the whole world has different opinions about this and I hope you will follow your heart. My first husband was 18 years older than me and we were together for 7 years. He started drinking and beating on me so, I left. My second husband was 25 years older than me. We were together 22 years before he passed away. It's your life and you need to make your own decision. Don't let people talk you into their way...their mistakes and their life was their own choice. Good Luck

Alex Polyakov ∙ 6 Nov, 10

in 25 you will be completely different person. Right now, your marriage will be happy if your boyfriend enough patient :)

Sudheera ∙ 7 Nov, 10

18 is too young age to get married i mean you have to think about your career.

Thiruselvam K ∙ 7 Nov, 10

BETWEEN 18 AND 25 is a 7 years gap. 18 is definitely too young for marriage. Do have plenty of friends of all ages. That is perfectly OK. Remember thinking pattern at 18 differs from that of 25. Life and experiences determine a lot of things. At 18 you are beginning exposure to adults, life and society. At 25 your thoughts, reasoning and perspective of life would be VERY VERY DIFFERENT. At 18 plenty of "heroes" will exist around you. Have you heard of "hero worship". As you get older, there heroes will falter and disappear. Some other truths will emerge as the years progress, and you will be glad that you did not get any closer or wrapped up with them emotionally. Mix more. Discover more. Marriage can wait till you are in the 25 to 30 age group. Do not rush into marriage unsuspectingly. As mum. She can tell you true stories of women with regretful marital events. You have future in front of you. What Sudheera, Ales Polyakov, Karen and Renata said above have all got rings of truth. THINK RIGHT. right.

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