The blog post that I am currently working on for post tonight is about a huge family secret that came to light my freshman year. This lie was not told out of self-preservation.
So it kicked my brain into overdrive. I'm curious. Why do we lie?
I have already deduced that we lie to make ourselves seem better than we really are - any other ideas?
A 'white lie' is sometimes used to protect others from hurt... Sometimes it's acceptable to do a 'white lie', depending on the situation, but it may cause upsetting consequences if found out.
~Bevolee
This is a very touchy subject for me for it was the cause of the destruction of trust in someone I cared about very much. Bevolee is right, it is used ( though I call no lie white ) it is used to sometimes protect someone and That brings into play the action of choosing the lesser of two evils. And though I hate lies , I am not guiltless.
there are tons of reasons why we people choose to do it, but i think one of the main reason why people lie is because we want to protect something, someone or even ourselves, it's more of a defense mechanism. we do it for our own different reasons, to save someone or to just save our selves. i have lied a couple of times, but definitely not proud of it. lying is an act that i'm not a fan of, for me it's a a temporary shield from the consequences of truth. selfishness drives us to lie, to put a mask on what we have done.
You couldn't have laid it out any better, Mariane.
I hate lies because it is the destroyer of trust. If you lie to me White lie or whatever type lie, Then I will never know WHEN to believe you. I am going through that now. Trust is a MAJOR contributor to peace and if there is no trust there can be no peace.
I think we lie because it's comfortable for us at times; or an easy way of not hurting a person. Some people just lie because they get a rise out of watching people react to a false sense of information; it varies from person to person.
@Teddy and Bevolee I have been guilty of the "white" lie on occasion. Usually with people who I don't know that well. I can't have hurting a strangers feelings on my conscience. However, with my friends and family I am pretty straight forward. Blunt. I do not mince words usually. People who know me don't come to me with their problems unless they want the truth.
@Mariane I agree it is a defense mechanism. Our knee jerk reaction when someone holds a mirror up to us and shows us something ugly that we had never noticed is to reply, "no, that's not me." But, on closer inspection we see that it is indeed true.
@LA I know someone like this. She is an in-law so I can't rip her face off the way I have imagined it the past 7 years. She also lies to make people believe she is greater than she really is. Which is sad because if you stripped away all of the posturing she would be pretty amazing anyway!
I hear what your saying . I have found that being on the receiving end has put a new perspective on my thoughts of doing it to others. How are you doing Lady Friend?
Lying is almost instinctual. It comes so easy. I hate it. I honestly believe lying is the worst sin commitable by the human race, because it just feeds on itself, and sews the seeds of mistrust which permeate us NEVER working together as a whole and achieving what we actually could as a species instead of individuals.
I generally don't prefer lying. Even if it is convenient for me. I don't know why people lie? I do it very rarely, and the reason is, not to spoil the thing.
1 is as bad as 2 or more. But here is the problem, If we practice anything , we will inevitably get better at it.
Ever heard the saying, Practice makes perfect and easier?
I have a real question here... How is false boasting about yourself different from lying?? Or are they same? I have a friend, who keeps boasting about herself just to show that she is better than me??? But what is the need of it?? I never compare her.. why does she have to lie about everything???
I think it is human nature. Everyone lies at one point or another. If you deny that you have then you are lying to yourself. I am guilty of it as well. I deplore the act, but I am guilty of it. However, I do prefer the hard truth over an easy lie any day of the week.
Something else I can't stand is a person who will lie, and when you catch them they try to gaslight you. I mean, if I just caught you with your hand in the cookie jar don't try to convince me I didn't see it. Your hand was in there, I saw it, I called you out on it, admit it.
@Teddy, I am doing better. I have discovered that I only get sick if I eat meat and cheese. Maybe that little bit of info will help the doctors discover what is keeping me sick!
Good, I am glad you have figured that out. My wife has the same issue with beef and milk and cheese is made from milk. P.S. LA GREEN got in touch today, Sounds like he's on board. see's the potential. Stay Well Lady Friend
G'day Natasha
It's become habitual because we feel threatened in some way, not physically but emotionally/mentally. Look carefully at anyone who lies they will seem &/or feel inadequate in some way unless of course we are protecting someone or something else but of course it still comes down to a threat.
There have been a number of studies performed that show that the average person habitually lies, in other words it comes naturally now to us to lie therefore accepted in society these days.
Love
Mathew
Good point Matthew. Thank you.
Princess - If you apply what Matthew has said to your friend then you may get some insight into your friend. She probably feels insecure and inadequate and is boasting about herself to build herself up. Maybe she is looking for you to confirm the things she is boasting about. To feed her ego. I don't know the situation, I am just trying to play the devil's advocate here.
Teddy, that's great about LA.
What was causing your wife's problem with meat and milk?
We really don't know, but once she stopped consuming it, she has not had any problems as before. maybe she is allergic to something they give to the animals.
I wrote about this some time ago, and I think there is no such thing as a white lie. Someone either lies or not, and I would not like any of my family or friends to withhold the truth from me, no matter how painful and especially if it would have an effect on my life in some way. Sometimes the reaction we think someone will have does not always transpire.
As an example: can you imagine if your boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, partner had an affair (which had now ended) and everyone knew but was too scared to tell you because it would cause you pain? Don't you think you had a right to know so that you could make a decision about your own relationship? But, that right was taken away from you by your famiy/friends. What if 2 years later you then found out? Would you be angry with them? Or would you really say, they knew best?
We all want to hear/know the truth ourselves in matters concerning us, so why not be honest when it comes to others you care about too?
This is a really good discussion, and a big topic to get into :)
Forgot to add:
That maybe people lie because they don't want to confront situations. Maybe they lie about their status in life because they want to be seen as someone more important. People lie to protect their own hearts because they don't want to hear the truth and deal with it. Some people just live in a fantasy world. So many reasons.
RUMPUNCH.. the example you gave happened wid me, me and my boyfriend lost contact for 2 year, in within we both fell into another relationships. but i broke up within 2 weeks, but he had it for a very long time...and he moved far away with dat girl in every sense. when we contacted each other, i told him about my relation, and the fact that nothing happened between us.. but he did not confess about himself.. many days later he told me,when i already started getting its hint from other sources... any even after telling all this, he didn't tell me the reason y dey broke up, n how did it happen. nothing would change my love for him, but it hurts sometime that he lied, and there is still something i dont know about him...
I think lying is sometimes necessary to avoid a greater effect if we come clean
