The other day I was watching some TV (because I'm lazy and WTF else am I going to do on the weekend) and I watched (and actually paid attention to!) a commercial for an anti-depressant called Abilify. It scared the shit out of me (the drug, not ...―
It never occurred to me until I was conversing with a friend, but the options one has for a Halloween costume for a 1 year old are severely limited. ∙ And by severely limited, I mean you're only going to be able to find size-appropriate...―
Do you know what's the classiest thing I've seen as of late? It's when a woman puts her cell phone in her boobs. ∙ That's mother f**kin' classy as shit right there. That's like going to the opera classy. That's like tapenade and caviar...―
I've been busy (again) but I'm using that excuse to hide the fact that I really haven't been inspired to write comedy for the past week. Some of you may have been able to tell that from reading last week's posts. *BAH-ZING* ∙ But then...―
Tomorrow is the Fourth of July. If you don't know what that means and you're reading this blog, GTFO. Hopefully you're making ready your plans to watch some professional fireworks and drink some beer. ∙ I say professional fireworks because ...―
It's summer time and you know what that means... VACATION BITCHES. ∙ Oh dear God how I've been waiting for the day when I could take a large chuck of time off from work and just sit around, relax, and drink. Which is completely different ...―
The above is an actual picture from my backyard. ["Actual" in the sense that it's not actually my backyard.] ∙ As many of you are aware, Indiana has received a historically low amount of rainfall this year and had a shit load of days where...―
As some of you may remember, I signed up to participate in Indianapolis's Indiana's Run For Your Lives Zombie 5k. It was actually nowhere near Indianapolis. It was somewhere between BumF**k, Egypt and HolyShitWhereAreWe?, Pennsylvania. ∙...―
As many of you know, news out of Miami, FL is that the zombie apocalypse has already started. ∙ HELL F**KING YEAH. ∙ It's about time. ∙ Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, cause these zombies eatin' e'rybody out here. ∙ ...―
Don't know who Gloria Allred is? Consider yourself lucky if you don't. She's a scum-of-the-earth lawyer who is worse than an ambulance chaser (which I didn't think was possible). ∙ I barely know who Gloria is, but in the instances where ...―
Well, it's mid-May and that means that most of us will be heading out to pools and the beaches any day now for the start of summer. ∙ Except this guy, who I'm pretty sure would burst into flames or glitter or something if he were to step ...―
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